Tag Archives: humor

i am a terrible blogger*

blogging is fun

i have misplaced my urge to purge words this year. but I’m back and I’m taking names.

So, It must be obvious to many of you…..that I have been OFF the grid for some time now. I suck. I know. I am a terrible blogger. I’ve decided to come back. Redeem my self worth online and know that each day I will post something new even if it’s boring, because I want to socially interact with you guys and let out the rants that keep my brain tied up.

I will see you tomorrow. Lot’s of love. -Heather

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i promise have not run away…..i’ve been SICK

tissueboxclipartalright, i know….the pain has been almost unbearable and i’m sorry – i miss you too. i have not run away; i’ve been super sick. it sucks, i do realize this. especially when i have been coughing my frenzied brain off for two weeks now while taking care of a house full of hungry children, a tall husband and two dogs!! i am however on the mend of healthy so i wanted to tell you all that i have my little red book ready with tons of cough syrup induced blog post ideas that i cannot wait to share with you all. happy wednesday everyone!

-heather

did someone say delicious? i’ll raise your delicious and add a little cabbage to that

cabage recipe pinterestandblog copyThe BEST cabbage recipe on the planet……

this is my first recipe submission into the blog world and i am so super excited to be able to share it with you. back story? i know you like the back story, so i’ll give you a little insight. i’m 31 years old and i have never eaten or made cooked cabbage. i said it. i know….i should be ashamed of myself and i was until two weeks ago. there i was sitting at home with the children, doing the mom thing and PING goes the light bulb over my head, “i’ve never had cooked cabbage before, ever”. this was in fact WILD to me! see, i LOVE LOVE LOVE food. i love to look at it. i love to cook it. i love to eat it. i love to read about food. i just love food over and over again. so when this epiphany came to me, i was blown away just like you probably are right now. i mean, me of all people not had cooked cabbage. that fact obviously did not stick because i have come up with the best cabbage recipe on the planet.

you say you don’t like cooked cabbage? well, i promise not to give you the green eggs and ham  speech, however…..if my children have fifth helpings of it, then i must be doing something pretty darn delicious in my kitchen, okay. all i ask is that you squawk and gawk at my lovely recipe pictures i actually took time to click. and the steps in which i have come up with to share this yummy in your tummy cooked cabbage recipe.

what you will need recipe cabbage

 

 

 

  • fresh parsley
  • fresh head of cabbage
  • 1/2 cup of butter
  • one bouillon cube
  • 3 cups of water
  • dash of salt & dash of pepper
  • a big pot & lid – cabbage
  • a small pot & lid – broth
  • stove (i had to add the stove in there…ocd and all)

alright, so we have our list of needed items to make the best cooked cabbage on the planet. let’s get started.

cabbage recipe parsley

 

 

 

 

 

step 1:

pick a couple handfuls of parsley bunches and set aside.

take the 1/2 cup of butter and melt it in your pot on medium high heat

cabbage recipe boiling water

 

 

 

 

 

step 2:

pour the 3 cups of water into the small pot and turn on high heat

*you can add a few pulls of parsley if you’d like, i did

cabbage recipe cabbage and parsley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

step 3:

cut the fresh cabbage head into 6-8 sections.

place the cut cabbage sections into the big pot with the melted butter

then add the pulled parsley you had set aside in step 1

cabbage recipe boullion cube

 

 

 

 

 

step 4:

place your bouillon cube into the small pot of boiling water and stir occasionally until dissolved

meanwhile, sit/mix up the cabbage and parsley in the big pot with the melted butter. keep the heat on medium low to medium high

*make sure to keep the lid on the big pot of cabbage while it cooks

cabbage recipe bouillon water

 

 

 

 

 

step 5:

your bouillon cube should have be dissolved

pour the broth from from the small pot over the cabbage and mix together

cabbage recipe steam it

 

 

 

 

 

step 6:

replace the lid to the cabbage pot and put the heat on simmer

the cabbage should simmer for about 30 minutes and then it’s show time

cabbage recipe eat it

 

 

 

* just add a little salt and pepper to taste and there you have it…..delicious cooked cabbage

-heather

sand between my toes grows and grows…

we all know that everyone of us has been to the BEACH at least once in our lifetime. i grew up traveling to the Florida beaches every summer as a child. i remember the long car rides, the stops at the gas stations, picking up a bag of white cheddar smartfood popcorn, a soda and a pouch of big league chewing gum. and then when we finally made it to the strip, we’d roll the windows down, and take in the the salty smell of the ocean water and listen to the waves crashing onto the sand. what i wouldn’t give to be a child just one more time, to enjoy the beach as i did when i was little. it was magical.

mush. mush. mush…..you’re clear. it’s all over. now to discuss the photo of yours truly packed deep in the sand. this picture was taken a few years ago, when my hibby and i took our four girls to the beach. our children’s ages were 7, 6, 3, and 8 months. well, as a mommy i was overly protective of our tiny tot who i kept clear from the sun as much as possible. what am i talking about? i’m still an overly protective boundary making mommy and i’m sure i always will be! my hibby and met his parents down at the beach house that year and so they packed up and lugged to the beach with us that day. we were covered from head to toe in sunscreen. we had tents. umbrellas. coolers packed with ice cold waters and juice pouches. beach towels. and of course sand toys galore. we had a blast.  it was everything to see my little spawns splashing in the water and digging in the sand. i had given our tiny tot to my mother in law so i could play freely in the sand with my three year old. meanwhile my hibby took the older two to splish and splash in the crashing waves. fun right! of course. what i was not expecting was a full on body bury by my underestimated three year old. i mean look…can you believe that a three year old could man handle that sand the way she did? me neither! but it’s true. i was trapped and in my entrapping, i had the most fun…just like i was when i was a little girl myself.

we haven’t been to the beach in a few years as a family. so i am geared up in my cozy slippers, my house robe, and stripped beanie, just basking in the vision of the hot sunny beach that awaits us this summer. this time however….i think i may sneak a sand dig on all the kids myself! i can’t wait and i’ll be sure share with you all too.

-heather

have you looked under your oven recently? i have and guess what i found…

let me start out by saying…I LOVE TO COOK. there i said it. it’s in the open for the universe to see and know that even when it’s 6 o’clock and i’m tormenting my family because i have to cook dinner….i’m secretly reveling in my awesomeness. that’s right, i am the next top mom chef. lies? no. i don’t think so. more like the secret truth behind the the story of heather, super hero at heart.

what’s with my ranting about my awesome cooking skills? sit down and i’ll tell you. see unlike many of you, i hold the world record for “losing” food under the …..dunn…dunn…dunn…OVEN! shh…..the oven people might hear, so try and contain the excitement for what i am about to speak of.

so i’m cooking. in my groove and doing my thing. and then BHAM, a brussel sprout drops to the floor and what does it do? it rolls. that’s right. it rolls right under the oven of all places. gone. haha. i think to myself….”i can save you brussel sprout”. so i set my bamboo spatula down on the counter and take the all mighty four legged I lost something position. but much to my disbelief, the under oven is CLEAN and free of any brussel spout waiting to be saved and fed to the dog. it’s just as if it had never dropped and rolled under the oven at all. oh man. so i think “boy am i going to have a toot of a brussel sprout stinking up my kitchen next week”. but no. no stinky smell. no brussel sprout. because the oven people captured the dropped brussel sprout and took it away for their people of the oven feast. it’s not just the brussel sprout. it’s all things. they stop at nothing to eat the rolling goods.

i have oven people living under my oven, capturing and eating the food that drops and rolls underneath. i bet you do too. so….what may i ask has rolled under your oven recently?

-heather

what's under your oven?

what’s under your oven?

want to see some pitch slapping??? funniest movie that you must watch

omgosh!!!! okay so i am a huge lover of music and HUMOR. who doesn’t like humor? i know, but we are not talking about our third grade english teacher. so here is a little back story to my funny favorite movie of the month, ready?

my oldest child was at a big sleep over with her girlfriends last weekend. she is a tween and as much as I would like her to be a toddler, unfortunately she is most definitely not. anyway, it’s around 9ish Saturday night and my sweet rule abiding child video calls me to ask if she can can watch this new blu ray movie her friend got for her bday. what do i do you ask? i look over at my hibby and he is already looking it up on google. hahaha. he looks over and says HECK NO! i of course bust out laughing. i can see myself in the bottom corner picture box and i’m totally trying to keep my cool and look cute while i break my sweet child’s heart and popularity. (i was still praising her in my head and aloud for calling to see if it was okay)

i go on to tell her as my hibby’s overpowering voice echoes in the background, that there is sexual referencing, language and drug referencing. i can hear her friends in the background going, “nuh, uh…no that’s another movie called picture perfect”. either way i doomed the rest of her girl power night with a big fat NO. somehow the connection on the video got disconnected….yes i think she politely ended the call. ANNNND, so then i decided to look it up on youtube. i saw the trailer, and it was actually pretty funny looking. seeing how my child is a TAD naive and totally into music and singing…..i figured she would come home with questions on what words meant. I DECIDED TO LET HER WATCH IT. there was only verbal mentioning of inappropriate wordage and there was no sexual content scenes. i called her on her friends phone and told her that i was TOTALLY KIDDING and then the connection was lost. needless to say, my sweet tween was overly exciting. her awesomely cool mother did in fact not ruin the night and the movie rocked.

in turn….I RENTED THE MOVIE FROM REDBOX so i could see for myself why my child came home asking what a “slut, boner, and herpes was”. that’s right….aaahhahaha. all i could do was laugh to myself because i am the one that provided and worked hard to have an open relationship with my children. and when they overhear or read a word that they do not know, they come ask me and i tell them. this was the first time i could not answer right away. how do you tell your tween who already has had the short no detail version of the birds and bees, what a boner is. i mean come on. i actually fell to the floor in a laughing fit because i had no idea how to tell her without terrifying her into her late twenties.

ramble. ramble. ramble. my apologies. i just want to say that if you want a good laugh and a breather one night, please go rent the movie Pitch Perfect. hilarious. fat amy is awesome!

-heather

Image

what a mom is on a weekly basis…

a mom's week

a mom’s week

okay, so i have four amazingly beautiful, different, stubborn and talented little girls; ages 5 – 12. HANDFUL? why of course they are! would i change it for anything in the entire world? NO WAY! would i like to jump off a bridge onto a fluffy cloud of absolute serenity? SOMETIMES. as many of you who are reading this, know, MOMS DO A LOT. i can vouch for dads too, but since i am a mother and not a father – i come on a LOTTLE (not a little but a little bit of a lot)….a LOTTLE biased about who does a heavier load around the home front.

yes..yes..yes….i am an avid appreciator of my dear loving and hard working hibby(husband) for working as hard as he does. i do love him to the end of the earth and we both have unconditional love like no other. even with unconditional love and appreciation; there is still room for feeling like a cup runneth over without an inch down time to put yourself back into “heather reality”. i stay at home and handle most if not all of the daily household and family duties and i also run my own photography business. i love my work. i love being able to be home with my kids when they are feeling under the weather. i love seeing their faces when they walk through the door from a long day at school. i love the light in their smile when they see me in carpool line. i love hugging my hibby tight when he get home. i love all of it. i have been very blessed to have the opportunity to be apart of my children’s lives and make a living at the same time.

the only fall back is that sometimes, not always, but at least twice a year i get the itch that i can’t find to scratch. i can tell ya where it itches, but there just does NOT seem enough scratching power to calm it down right away. sooooo…..it got my frenzied brain on the go go go and i came up with what i am on a weekly basis to my family. anyone else feel this way too? feel free to share!

perhaps…..’tis the time for some scratching ‘-)